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Do your troubles signal reconciliation or divorce?

You and your spouse may be going through some tough times. In fact, the tough times may have been going on for a while, and you are now wondering if it is better to just cut your losses. After all, there comes a point where you are exhausted with the fight and longing for a more peaceful life.

It may not surprise you to learn that people who divorce have gone through similar struggles. However, you may not realize that happily married Pennsylvania couples also experience the kinds of troubles you and your spouse are facing. Psychologists believe that the different backgrounds and methods of dealing with stress that everyone has coming into a marriage play a vital role in how they endure marital conflict.

The breaking point

Even something as devastating as infidelity may not be a deal-breaker for some marriages, but it certainly weakens the level of trust between spouses. Having an affair has taken on many depths of meaning since social media made its appearance. These days, an emotional affair can be just as destructive as a physical affair. Additionally, while your marriage may experience long-term infidelity and come out strong, another couple may be unable to get past a one-night stand.

Other marital issues that many couples face include the following:

  • Incompatibility of major issues such as religion or having children
  • The death of a child
  • Substance abuse or addiction
  • The diagnosis of a chronic, debilitating or potentially fatal disease
  • Debt, bankruptcy or ongoing disputes over financial issues

Couples name these as the most frequent reasons why they may seek divorce, but they can also be catalysts for therapy that fleshes out deeper issues and leaves a couple with a stronger bond than they had before. A crisis or defining moment in a relationship may open the door to honest communication and greater respect for one another. Of course, there is always the possibility that you and your spouse are simply not able to overcome your conflicts.

What may have been charming and attractive about the differences between you when you first got married has grown into something you resent. Your incompatibility may require more than coming to terms with your spouse's annoying habits. If you feel that you and your spouse will not be able to sustain your union and that even counseling won't make a difference, you may be ready to seek professional advice about ending your marriage.

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The Griest Building, 6th Floor, 8 North Queen Street
Lancaster, PA 17603

Phone: 717-925-0665
Fax: 717-299-2822
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